An outsider’s perspective.
It’s something that never really goes away.
A pain that makes you acutely aware that you are alive, that makes you grateful for the music that blocks your thoughts and pills that lull you into sleep.
It’s a pain that makes you tired and afraid.
A pain that you externalise with a sigh of resignation, that lurks behind the smile in your eyes, and disguises itself as nervousness in your laughter.
Some nights, she curls herself into a ball, hoping to shrink into non-existence. Maybe if she holds herself close enough, she will be all she needs.