- Stop speaking in superlatives. Life is a spectrum and life might be tough sometimes, but there is always someone who has it worse than you – no, you don’t always meet scum men, and no, you’re not the ugliest person in the room. You are not untouchable and maybe you’re the exact opposite of that – you let the smallest of things get to you and the emotions that cross your face can be seen from a mile away. But that doesn’t make you weak.
- Please know, that being a cold person does not make you strong. Pushing people who care away will not protect you from rejection and failure. And it will not make the lonely nights any better. If one day your single bed feels too empty for one, know that that is an emptiness that no one can fill. But I will be there, I promise, with waffles and rain boots. I will wait through the storm with you, and even if the tears don’t seem to end, I promise you, the heartbreak will.
- I hope that one day you will realise that writing the lyrics of love songs on your wrists is not the same thing as wearing your heart on your sleeve, and no matter how much you scribble his name in that diary of a mind of yours, he will not love you, if you’re not the one for him. But someone will, someday.
- Don’t, just don’t, turn back to look at the boy who gave up on you, and don’t spare a second thought for the leftover pieces of heart someone threw out. They are not yours to keep and will never make you whole. And that boy, who gave you a second look? He’s not worth changing yourself for. You may think he’s the one in that few but he will never appreciate how you changed.
I hope life treats you kindly, with forgiveness and generosity, and that you find peace amidst the buzz of commuters that pass, that you find comfort in the throng of people that surround. And forgive me if my mind felt before my heart spoke, if irritation came to me as swiftly as instinct, or if anger was one foot faster out of the door than empathy.
Please, find love in your heart to forgive me, and to not let my mistakes shape your future. Never let your mum’s love for black and white turn you away from a world of colour. Patterns, rainbows, non-primary colours; those were the things your mum never dared to discover. Not that she had the talent to – every pattern she swirled turned as dull as the life she lived.
There will be days that you feel like you have nothing left to give, like you are as worthless as a single note in a time of loose monetary policy, or as left out as a 6th man to a 5 stack. Realise, that problems are only as bad as you let them be.
I hope that one day, you’ll pave the way for love in this world, and as much as destruction and pain follow some people in this world, I hope you’ll heal and build.
And I have not a single clue who your father is. But i sure hope he is a good man.
A/N: This has been on my mind for sometime (ever since #dearme videos started on youtube earlier this year) so I thought I’d finally write it all down. It’s still in random bits and blobs but please be kind, I’m a bit rusty.
+ n.b. There are so many things I’d like to add to this list. Maybe in a while after I get my thoughts together.